To the Lady in Sainsburys

You may never read this, but I will guess you won’t as you clearly don’t think of others.
I went to our local Sainsbury’s today, it’s not easy for me to do this, Anxiety is high for me, just the mere thought of having to go.
Fear of judgement from others, as I cannot wear a mask, my husband has to take a good while reassuring me,
Convincing me I will be fine. walking into store, I try and focus on getting through the shop with no major issues.
I hear over the tanoy kind words of a voice stating be aware that not all can wear masks, to be kind etc. Finally some consideration to those who do have issues, whether its mental health or others.

I felt a sneeze coming on, I pull my hand into my sleeve no time to grab a tissue, sneeze into my coat and hand, a dry sneeze. Thinking nothing more, a second sneeze hits in not long after, damn it, as my coat sleeve is once again used.
Gross, but I can wash it when home, no harm done.

Finishing up the shopping, heading to the checkout, paying for the items, I turn to see a furious face inchs from mine,
My anxiety kicks in, too close, I don’t do people too close, my heart skips a beat, as she yells in my face
*If you can’t be bothered to wear a mask at least cover your mouth with a hanky when you sneeze*
I reply I had used my sleeve and hand, my coat was slightly damp, she shouted *No you didn’t and not to be so rude, she uttered other words, but I couldn’t hear,
My fight mode kicked in, I shouted back, I felt a panic attack kicking in, I screamed at her to not judge when she doesn’t know me, as she walked away her head held high, as people stopped and stared, as the tears started to run down my face,

I hope who ever you are, that you are proud of your 2 mins of shouting into a women’s face, not knowing her,
Kind words would have gone much further, but instead you went into full attack,
Maybe covid scare’s you, maybe you have been effected by it, but that still gives you no right to scream at another so close, but you obviously can’t be too worried, as you were so close, the 2 metre rule didn’t exist, your mask wasn’t fully up either.
I don’t wear a mask for a reason, you don’t know my reason, so maybe think before you have a go,
I hope you are happy that you took it upon yourself to do what you did, not knowing me, and as a result sent me into a full blown panic attack.
I hope you feel proud of yourself for your judgemental attitude.
If you had walked over to me, and said kindly, I saw you sneeze and you didn’t see you use a hanky, is everything OK, etc, we could have had a chat, but you didn’t.

My husband has since spoken to the store, to apologise for my outburst, wanted to make it known that I know I was wrong and to say sorry, but they didn’t care for that, all they cared for was whether I was OK.

I’m fine, but I’m not OK

https://peacefullyerratic.com/2020/07/21/a-mask/