I was once asked a question, of would I turn back time, they never said how far, they never gave a time point.
It was a question that I feel is open ended with infinite possibilities.
Turning back time, turning it back to my birth, turning the clock to off,
Remove all chances of the life that was about to be given to a small child,
A life that was questionable, uncertain, unsafe,
Yet was a life in this world, that today has given the gift of life and love to others.
What was the right choice?
I often debate with others on a forum, about birth, should life be given if we did not choose it?
The question of whether a life is one that is a gift or a burden. Are our paths set?
I did not chose where I am today, I did not ask for the constant abuse,
I do not recall signing up for a path that leads me to nothing but pain and fear,
Emotionally and mentally.
I did not ask to place this onto my children, the path I get told I do have a choice in,
Yet do I? When I am told behaviour is learnt and I know no other way.
I get confused on that, but that’s a debate for another time.
What is life, they say life is what you make it,
Yet every time I nearly make it, I am reminded I am nothing,
I get pulled straight back to the depths of the warmth of darkness,
I used to fear that time, now I embrace it, I am ready for it, I welcome it.
What is life, when Life is nothing but a path to a means to an end?
A life I didn’t chose, yet thought I would have choice of, yet I don’t?
Do I have to find my own purpose? If that is the situation, where do I opt out?
I do not choose to live a life of pure altruism, yet this is how my life has resulted,
Is life a gift? I hear many say it is, yet a gift can be returned or passed on,
Life is a non refundable gift with no choice yet to push on wards,
No matter what comes with it.
Or is life a game? Are we just playing one big game of snakes and ladders?
A simple roll of the dice deciding where we end up,
I have been told I do nothing but play games, I don’t recall taking the dice,
I don’t recall signing up, I don’t like game’s, but maybe this is all we are.
One simple game that we play, whether we like it or not,
Those who opt out sooner, did they roll the dice one too many times,
Falling down at each turn, to the point the ladder became unobtainable,
At which point, who are we too judge a soul that feels the need to quit
A life that they didn’t choose, a life they have opted out of
Who’s the bravest person then?
The one who sits suffering time after time for others enjoyment,
Or the one who chooses to quit before the pain becomes one of torture,
Because at the end of the game, what really is life?
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