On the flip side to yesterday’s distressing time, I thought it was time I mentioned the kind people, the ones who do care, the one’s who have gone above and beyond.
For years I have been self employed, after a break due to my mental breakdown, In June I was in a position to restart my work. I wasn’t expecting much, used to being knocked back constantly, I tried not to get hopes up. As my diary filled fast, I wanted to be happy, but fear always held me back. Whilst I loved my sessions, whilst I loved ever dancer I photographed, I refused to let myself get too involved, I detached from everything. Everything running on empty.
Featured, published, shown on BBC TV, my diary full, someone kindly building my website for me, I never let it sunk in that I was finally doing something right this time around,
I held back, as I believed it couldn’t last,
Then I was proved, what I thought was right.
On a session in a city over an hour from home, 5 eager beautiful dancers, stood before me, When my camera went into error mode. Silently freaking, I turned to my husband, called him over, my heart skipping a beat as I realised this was major function error.
A dancers father took the camera to have a look, but he couldn’t understand it either. I was ten mins into the session, I had 5 photos, I could cry, anxiety kicking in. My husband took the lead, spoke to the parents and the dancers, whilst I tried to hide in shame and who knows what else.
Fast forward a few day’s, I discovered my camera would cost £500 to repair, I broke, I simply don’t have that kind of money laying around, I don’t do overdrafts or credit cards. My mind gave up, my heart and soul dropped to the ground, I didn’t care any more. I turned to anger to disguise any emotion, I took on defensive mode.
A week later, a knock on my door, a long term clients mum/friend, was stood before me, She wasn’t taking this lightly, she wasn’t letting me give up.
She had idea’s, she had warm hug’s, she had kind words. Yet again though, I held back. Used to words, not used to actions.
Today now though, thanks to this lady and others who have worked with her on these idea’s, I am in a place to replace my camera, just a little short on the crowd funding, but to be honest, to get it to where it is currently via amazing strangers/clients have raised the funds to get either this camera repaired, or to be quicker purchase a 2nd hand one.
On top of this, there are other plans moving forward to allow me to take my work, hopefully to the next level. Thing’s I have wanted to do for so long, but never had the motivation nor the strength.
Yesterday was hard, today is still hard, but it’s been softened by the kind souls of others.
I don’t like sharing too much linking back to personal, but right now, I no longer care,
For now, I just want to say a massive thank you to those who have reminded me there is still kindness in this world, Means more then you could ever know.
Dancers of Cornwall will soon return, and I cannot wait!
https://business.facebook.com/DancersofCornwall/videos/347545763277544/
peacefullyerratic.com 