Christmas

Christmas, one time I managed to turn a negative into a positive, One time I was able to make a change with now happy memories attached. Let me start from the beginning.

Growing up, as soon as the Christmas music started playing in the shops, as soon as the lights lit up the town, a child’s imagination grew.
Christmas to one so small was nothing short of magical and beautiful

As snow falls, I loved walking the streets of the town on late night shopping, wrapped up in a warm coat and scarf, the cold fresh air hitting you softly, as wisps of snow fell, whilst staring into the shop windows, the thought of Santa, and presents, wishes and dreams.
Christmas decorations adorning shop window’s catching the my eye, looking up with delight at the lights strung between buildings.
I loved the smells of the Christmas market, the smell of hot chocolate floating through the air, the smell of roasted chestnuts.
I loved hearing the sound of Christmas, Carol singers standing next to the town’s massive Christmas tree, seeing people laughing and smiling, interacting, Merry Christmas called as you went by.
I loved every moment, I wanted to bottle it up and keep it forever, As I knew as soon as I was home, and the front door shut, I would lose that Christmas feeling, the magic was gone. The lights, the sounds, the decorations would be a memory until next year.
For my mother never allowed decorations. Her story as too why, often changed, but she claimed mainly her upbringing of a convent life and the nun’s not believing in them as her main reason. This confused me but I learned to accept it.

As a teenager, My brother and I decided one year to just decorate, we could never understand the harm, some brought, but one’s we mainly had sat and made in private, paper chains, and things, we hoped a smile from our mother, hoped she would appreciate it, even if she wasn’t keen, surely for her children, this one time was no issue. Instead we were met with screams, as the decorations were torn down and binned, threats of never dare we do anything like that again filled our ears, as I ran to my room fighting the tears.
Christmas by now I realised was about materialistic thing’s, and the meaning was lost. Praise for the effort she put into presents was all she cared about.

When my oldest was born, I found the strength to fight back, we got a tree, it was so silly looking, barely anything there, but it was a tree. Within a few day’s, she had allowed the cat’s to destroy it, so that was that, never to be seen again.

As the years went by, gradually I found myself alone at Christmas, So I focused on visiting the Christmas Markets, enjoying the sounds, and the smells, soaking in every moment.
As time went on, thing’s changed, the carol singers no longer, people more interested in selfies in front of Christmas decorations instead of sharing the joy and magic, People to rushed to focus on nothing more then the latest bargain or just wrapped in their own world to see others.
I vowed when I finally, If I ever had, my own family that thing’s would be different.

When I met my husband, I spent our first Christmas together at his parents. I finally saw a family Christmas, decorations, laughter, fun and time, making memories, it was amazing.
I knew this is what I wanted for my future children.

I stand here now today, so happy to say, finally we have the most beautiful tree, decorated in a natural way, the robins to reflect my husbands family and a memory for him. Atop sits the most beautiful angel, one I searched for as I wanted it to be perfect and not just settle, I wanted the tree to be one too last for years and not just thrown at the start of January.
One the children would remember with a smile.
I wanted a tradition too, I wanted to start our own family tradition. On our daughters first birthday we were given the most beautiful Musical Christmas snow globe, every year it comes down from the attic and takes pride of place on a unit, that and the tree, with occasional tinsel around the home.
I tell my children the story of Christmas, but I do not allow them to believe Santa brings the main presents, instead he brings a Christmas eve box of Chocolates, a surprise toy and new PJ’s.

Christmas morning is one of calm, 4 presents each, 4 presents for 4 children, gifts with meaning.
Sitting in a row, their smile’s filling the room, as one by one present’s are opened, enjoyed and cuddles are shared with warmth and thanks.
Christmas dinner around the table, shared, laughter, food fights,
Christmas afternoon a time to just relax and watch the children enjoy their gifts, before the night comes in, bed time snuggles are given, and then it’s over until next year
Simple but perfect for us

This to me is our Christmas, this is our magic, our memories and our Christmas Story.