That word that is being used against me once again, a word that is used as a weapon in my world to stop me moving forward, a word that no matter how i use it, its wrong, always so wrong, to the point i question everything once again.2022 I started a private therapy to help… Continue reading Therapy
Tag: depression
Hauntingly Silent
I have been silent once again here, My life is taken over by everyone and everything else, Yet, one thing I am able to do, is something I have wanted to do for so long,Yet, for many reasons, I have had to wait, confidence being the main one, Yet now is the time, Now is… Continue reading Hauntingly Silent
2006
At a time when I crave solitude and to be on my own, there was once a time, I had more then enough alone time, there was a time, I went from being in a supported unit, with people around, to nothing, pure nothing.My first proper home should have been one of joy.A home where… Continue reading 2006
Today wasn’t kind
Today wasn't kind, not in a bad way, but in a way of experience, Life is an experience, every day I learn to deal with whatever my mind and body throws at me, Today was no different, yet it landed me mentally and physically exhausted. A simple trip out with my husband and three of… Continue reading Today wasn’t kind
Clashing Worlds
2 worlds, my own love, and my husbands, both dream's, hope's and passion working along side either other, until the day came one of us had to make a choice. This path has watched me change and grow over the years, a path that scares me, as I never know were I am one moment… Continue reading Clashing Worlds
Digital Art
Many know me as a photographer, but way before photography, I learned digital art, it was a a natural progression from *standard* art. I once was able to get a place in art college via a portfolio I had built up, but sadly due to home life, it had to be turned down. At the… Continue reading Digital Art
Nothing Wrong Here
A saying I speak to myself daily, a saying I live by, I feel a saying I have no choice but too make my own, as every one else in this world is in a worse place then my own, I understand that, I respect that, I have it said to me enough, but I… Continue reading Nothing Wrong Here
Pro Choice
Not my normal blog post, I have been unsure whether to post this here or direct to social media, I may do both. I live my life via pro choice, I do not believe in pro life, nor do I believe in pro suicide, Where my mind is at personally given my journey over the… Continue reading Pro Choice
Nightmares or reality?
When you head to bed, hoping to wake refreshed in the morning, hoping a night of bliss brings you relaxation and a new day, Bur, what if instead, you head to bed, and you find yourself in a world where you question reality, question dreams, fear is strong, nothing makes sense, yet everything is happening… Continue reading Nightmares or reality?
Pain, Fear, Anger
Sitting in silence, Solitude at home, Only the sound of the wind on the window, Music playing softly in the background,Fighting the knot inside, arguing with the demons who sit aside, I close my eyes for a moment, breathing, I try to hold back, Feeling emotion running through my body, as my mind revisits a… Continue reading Pain, Fear, Anger
Self Harm.
Self Harm, a subject that is taboo to many, but one that ripples in the world, many associate it with just teenagers, the old stigma of emos and cries for help. This is not always the case, self harm can effect any one of any age. My scar's are not all new. Many faded are… Continue reading Self Harm.
I am not afraid to say I am afraid
Further more to the post I attempted a few days ago!! I used to be able to let words flow, Sit and let my fingers let go, releasing pain, releasing emotion, Tears would fall, blurred visions, typing not perfect, yet it was my safe space, hidden for so long, I braved my soul and opened… Continue reading I am not afraid to say I am afraid
One week ago I became best friends with my demons, One week ago today, this time, this moment., I took the path of deciding to want to end my life, physically and mentally crossing a barrier, One week ago I was on the most serious path of self destruction I have ever walked. I stated… Continue reading
Nothingness
Stood on the edge, Looking down below her, far below her, nothingness, No longer afraid, Led to this point by despair.Tears falling, her mind clear, Darkness that controls her, waiting, just waiting, Pushing away the light, finding comfort in the darknessHer mind enforcing on her self loathing. Encouraging it, embracing it. Stood on the edge,… Continue reading Nothingness
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