Why do our minds play games on us, What point are our minds no longer a part of us, instead,They become something working against us, Causing us more then what we set out for. Whether that is pain, happiness, or other, it's all simply out of our control. Recently, moments of memories come into my… Continue reading Mind Games
Author: TheGirlSpeaks
Liverpool
You would have thought my London trip would have taught me a lesson, instead a life lesson didn't happen, and I was naive enough to believe and trust those around me. I returned from London, embarrassed and ashamed, I for the first time, truly felt hate, I for the first time felt uncertainty, I didn't… Continue reading Liverpool
London
A memory that sits strong in my mind, a flash back that has happened more then one time, a moment that lives blurred but strong in a time of confusion. A moment with no strong timeline, I ask bare with me as I blog this memory, my first of this style, this is so hard,… Continue reading London
Laying in bed, late last night, My eyes slowly closing, I wait for peace, I wait for sleep, I wait for quiet, Moment's later, my eye's open, Hoping hours had passed, Yet nothing but a few had,I find myself in solitude, I see a wall, yet beyond nothing makes sense, I see before me a… Continue reading
Dreams
Dream's, the one thing that visits me without fail, lock down or no lock down, just another part of my life I cannot control. Dream's that come when I sleep, dream's that fill me with apprehension before my body even lays down. Fear of the unknown filling my mind. Dreams where I struggle to know… Continue reading Dreams
A beautiful Memory
The memory, the moment, of one time, Every day reflecting in my mind, The sound of silence, Wind rushing round my body, The chill running through my veins, Freedom just moments before me, Solitude my future, Pain holding time still,The moonlight reflecting across the water, The feeling of nothingness, The water reflecting movement yet stillness,… Continue reading A beautiful Memory
Digital Art
Many know me as a photographer, but way before photography, I learned digital art, it was a a natural progression from *standard* art. I once was able to get a place in art college via a portfolio I had built up, but sadly due to home life, it had to be turned down. At the… Continue reading Digital Art
Nothing Wrong Here
A saying I speak to myself daily, a saying I live by, I feel a saying I have no choice but too make my own, as every one else in this world is in a worse place then my own, I understand that, I respect that, I have it said to me enough, but I… Continue reading Nothing Wrong Here
Lost and Confused
This isn't a post on reflection, I do not see the point of reflection, it changes nothing, but brings forward the failures of the past year, the pain and reminders that I am still here. This isn't a post on my so called mental health, as apparently my mental health can be switched off right… Continue reading Lost and Confused
Confusion
This is a brief post, one that will go greater into detail in the next post, it's a post to say a year ago I landed on a path that until now not many have experienced, I'm now informed now many walk this path, so I have no right to voice my pain, or complain… Continue reading Confusion
Sunday’s
I know for many Sunday is a day of relaxation, a day of family time, for some reason for me, Sunday's drag. I just want them to end. I don't like Sunday's! I often wondered if I had a reason unknown to me as to why, all I get though are happy memory's, Memories that… Continue reading Sunday’s
Yesterday evening, Lightning lit the night skies, with a couple of soft sounds of thunder. When Storm Denis decided it wasn't going to leave without a final strong goodbye, as very loud bangs and rumbles filled the night, it sounded like it was right out side our bedroom window, I will admit I screamed in… Continue reading
Pro Choice
Not my normal blog post, I have been unsure whether to post this here or direct to social media, I may do both. I live my life via pro choice, I do not believe in pro life, nor do I believe in pro suicide, Where my mind is at personally given my journey over the… Continue reading Pro Choice
One Vision
Often flashbacks pay me a visit, often without warning, flashbacks remind me of the path I have walked, I feel uncomfortable, I hate the vision, I hate the emotion, I hate the fear, I loathe the control as it takes over me. I have learnt to disguise them from daily life, act as if nothing… Continue reading One Vision
Nightmares,
I have blogged before about nightmare's, Nightmares that visit me often, nightmares that I no longer know reality from dream's. Not a negative post that I promised to stay away from, just a post reflecting on in a time of which I am confused. When I lay down in bed, when I pull the duvet… Continue reading Nightmares,
Protected: A link that cannot be broken
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I am struggling to blog at the moment, I do not recall the last time I was on my own with nothing but the sound of silence surrounding me, I need my blog, but I need instead to bottle up and hold in. For now though, as simple post to keep this small part of… Continue reading
Nightmares or reality?
When you head to bed, hoping to wake refreshed in the morning, hoping a night of bliss brings you relaxation and a new day, Bur, what if instead, you head to bed, and you find yourself in a world where you question reality, question dreams, fear is strong, nothing makes sense, yet everything is happening… Continue reading Nightmares or reality?
Christmas
Christmas, one time I managed to turn a negative into a positive, One time I was able to make a change with now happy memories attached. Let me start from the beginning. Growing up, as soon as the Christmas music started playing in the shops, as soon as the lights lit up the town, a… Continue reading Christmas
Pain, Fear, Anger
Sitting in silence, Solitude at home, Only the sound of the wind on the window, Music playing softly in the background,Fighting the knot inside, arguing with the demons who sit aside, I close my eyes for a moment, breathing, I try to hold back, Feeling emotion running through my body, as my mind revisits a… Continue reading Pain, Fear, Anger
Positive
A lot of how I post now can be influenced by others, how they see me, what they believe I should be posting about, which is cool. I have been told of recent, my posts are too negative, why don't I post positive. I had to think for a while, then I thought of the… Continue reading Positive
Posting
I have a few post's I wish to write this weekend, some may merge into others, as subjects cross over, but I need to blog, I need to get some of this stuff out, my time for blogging now is limited. I know some of my words will hurt, but I am to the point… Continue reading Posting
Reading, Writing & Music
A simple title, for something that has run throughout my life, yet a title I cannot think of anything else. Maybe this will change who knows. Just recently I have had many a compliment on my writing style, a style that come's so naturally to me, that I cannot see why people mention it, A… Continue reading Reading, Writing & Music
Self Harm.
Self Harm, a subject that is taboo to many, but one that ripples in the world, many associate it with just teenagers, the old stigma of emos and cries for help. This is not always the case, self harm can effect any one of any age. My scar's are not all new. Many faded are… Continue reading Self Harm.
I am not afraid to say I am afraid
Further more to the post I attempted a few days ago!! I used to be able to let words flow, Sit and let my fingers let go, releasing pain, releasing emotion, Tears would fall, blurred visions, typing not perfect, yet it was my safe space, hidden for so long, I braved my soul and opened… Continue reading I am not afraid to say I am afraid
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