I have never shied away from admitting my mental health battle,
I have never shied away from admitting we have social services involved,
I have never shied away from admitting our oldest boy, 9, O, has issues,
These issues, from whether he’s just hard work or has actual behaviour problems,
I have never denied, and have always said we are unsure which it is
What I shy away from, is admitting my mental health battle is still with me,
What I shy away from, is that fact social services have blamed my mental health,
For O’s issues, despite evidence going back to 2016 or earlier, of his own personal struggles,
Whilst mine only began in 2019, Yet his issues have been blamed, on my own battle and my own failures.
What I shy away from admitting, is how cruel our son can be to Prince our rabbit,
To my husband,
To his siblings, how unkind his hands can be, his words hurtful,
Our other children fearful of his reactions to something as simple as them looking at him,
Unable to be in main stream schooling,
We have been asked to jump through hoops, and over hurdles,
To ensure our parenting matches what is expected of us,
Yet its never enough, those hurdles keep building,
What I shy away from, is now, as we head in 2022, as people say, Look at you,
All’s good, you are doing amazing, So much to look forward to, Thing’s are so good for you,
Finally professionals admit O has issues beyond our parenting,
beyond just childhood behaviour struggles,
though is this too late for him, for us?
I want to say, as we go into 2022,
Yes so much too look forward too, and we do,
Yet we also face what I deem as hell,
as the fight to keep our family together is with us,
I hear you say, but you’ve got this, you are strong,
Though, With no support, with no break, even the strong will eventually crack,
We have tried to be private with this, but I can’t keep this to myself any longer,
We have no support, as each day, gets harder, No break, no let up,
The chance of our family being torn apart at any moment is here,
The threat of losing our children to social services is very real,
This isn’t a fear, this isn’t maybe’s,
In black and white, with solicitors, with meetings, with visits constantly planned and non,
and so much more,
This is real so very fucking real
peacefullyerratic.com 
Oh sweetie, O has had problems since pre-school. If only the “powers that be” would listen to parents cries for help earlier! I despair that they have only now accepted what you’ve been saying for years.
Early intervention would have helped you, him and the whole family.
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