Sleep

Sleep, for some an escape from this world, a chance to rest and forget about life for a few hours,
For others a land of nothing until the next morning, to wake with no fear, just ready for another day,
For some others, sleep doesn’t happen often, and when it does, it takes them to a world that makes no sense,
a world that feels real but doesn’t exist.
A sleep that you awaken from with a cry, a fear, a sense of not understanding where you are

The worlds in my sleep collide with reality yet are not,
Roads with no ends, towns with no edges, no solid ground beneath one’s feet,
People in real life, yet their personality is not one of real life,
Jumping, no clarity between each moment,
Home’s that aren’t mine, yet feel like I belong, despite the discomfort they bring.

Every dream, I state I want to note this down, try and make sense of it,
yet I never can find the words to express the feeling they leave me inside.

These dream’s visit me in the early hours, the rare moments I get the sleep I crave,
The moments that visited me last, people I knew in their *home*
A home that only exists in this world and not reality, I see families,
I see smile’s, I see hope and joy, a warm home,
I have to leave I need to go to mine,
Walking down a corridor that masquerades as a street,
I see a door, yet its a fence, I pull through, this is where I belong,
I find myself ankle deep in mud, I drag my feet through,
A feeling of overwhelming pain filling my body,
the mud gets deeper, a fog surrounds me, I try and walk faster,
I see no home, I see a bench with blankets, I push my way through,
Suddenly I find myself pulled back to the corridor, forced to repeat the steps,
Never reaching the bench, anger filling my mind,
No one around, so alone, I wade through the mud over and over,
I know this is a dream, yet it feels so real, there is no escape,
there is no hope, just constant wading through the mud,
Praying that in a moment, warmth and love will find me,
Instead stuck on repeat, the discomfort unsettles me,

I find myself looking around, I see a window, I see light,
I realise I am awake, tossing and turning, the feeling of unease not leaving me,
Yet it was only a dream, I need to forget this moment and carry on, ~
Push it to the back of my mind,
Yet the feeling never leaves me.

I loathe sleep, I loathe where my mind takes me,
I wish for nothing more then eternal sleep,
that brings nothing but black and warmth,

With no reality, no dream’s, just pure nothing.