Yesterday evening, Lightning lit the night skies, with a couple of soft sounds of thunder. When Storm Denis decided it wasn’t going to leave without a final strong goodbye, as very loud bangs and rumbles filled the night, it sounded like it was right out side our bedroom window, I will admit I screamed in fear, as lights flickered, car alarms went off, the street lamps went out, and hail hit the window falling hard and fast.
Once it stopped, I thought no more of it, as I watched my social media news feed fill with comments of how bad it was, as it rolled across the county hitting different towns.

Later, snuggling under my duvet, waiting for sleep to come, Suddenly my tummy starts to turn, a feeling of apprehension filling my veins, I close my eyes, find myself in my childhood bed, looking around I see my little pony wallpaper, I see the matching lamp, I hear footsteps, I hear my bedroom door open, I see silver pans, metal saucepans.
I see hand’s holding them, I hear banging, such loud banging, the tears start to fall. The sound of metal on metal so loud. I open my eye’s, willing for this vision to go. My body tenses, tears flowing heavily, my breathing becomes shallow, I struggle to focus, struggle to remember to breathe.
I close my eye’s again, the metal saucepans instantly fill my vision once more, a little pony duvet covers me, I wanted to feel safe, I want to cry out, I want to get away, yet nothing came, just the loud noise over and over, the vibrations of metal against metal.
I hear screams of the world is ending, I hear my own panic, I feel so scared. Forcing my self to open my eyes, I find myself sitting up, my nails digging into my blanket, my body trembling, my chest hurts.
The tears flowing so easily, falling to the blanket, fear filling every part of me. My mantra not working, struggling to even remember my mantra. The loud banging of saucepans together echoing in my ears, I want to escape, I want to run, but fear holds me still. I feel my body shiver, I felt detached from my surroundings, I lose sense of where I am.

I feel myself being pulled down onto the bed, arms wrapping around me, I feel confused, I can barely get the words out, I just want to sleep, yet every time I closed my eyes, I was in my childhood bed, the silver saucepans the only thing I could see, the only thing I could hear.
I must have fallen asleep though, as I jolted out of a world I don’t recall, I need the bathroom, not sure where I am,
I get back into bed,
feeling so detached,
The sound of banging still echoing in my ears,
this is only a memory please let this only be a memory,
trying to find warmth,
trying to find comfort,
Unsettled Sleep finally takes over me.