Still feeling raw, still feeling numb, normally I wait to blog these, but whilst this feeling is still here in this moment, I will blog as I feel My brain works strange at times, today it played it's games, nothing felt right, A feeling inside I can't explain, unable to settle, I found myself pacing,… Continue reading Tonight
Tag: suicide
Laying in bed, late last night, My eyes slowly closing, I wait for peace, I wait for sleep, I wait for quiet, Moment's later, my eye's open, Hoping hours had passed, Yet nothing but a few had,I find myself in solitude, I see a wall, yet beyond nothing makes sense, I see before me a… Continue reading
Dreams
Dream's, the one thing that visits me without fail, lock down or no lock down, just another part of my life I cannot control. Dream's that come when I sleep, dream's that fill me with apprehension before my body even lays down. Fear of the unknown filling my mind. Dreams where I struggle to know… Continue reading Dreams
A beautiful Memory
The memory, the moment, of one time, Every day reflecting in my mind, The sound of silence, Wind rushing round my body, The chill running through my veins, Freedom just moments before me, Solitude my future, Pain holding time still,The moonlight reflecting across the water, The feeling of nothingness, The water reflecting movement yet stillness,… Continue reading A beautiful Memory
Lost and Confused
This isn't a post on reflection, I do not see the point of reflection, it changes nothing, but brings forward the failures of the past year, the pain and reminders that I am still here. This isn't a post on my so called mental health, as apparently my mental health can be switched off right… Continue reading Lost and Confused
Pro Choice
Not my normal blog post, I have been unsure whether to post this here or direct to social media, I may do both. I live my life via pro choice, I do not believe in pro life, nor do I believe in pro suicide, Where my mind is at personally given my journey over the… Continue reading Pro Choice
Self Harm.
Self Harm, a subject that is taboo to many, but one that ripples in the world, many associate it with just teenagers, the old stigma of emos and cries for help. This is not always the case, self harm can effect any one of any age. My scar's are not all new. Many faded are… Continue reading Self Harm.
What is reality
I seek attention, yet I self loathe, I seek to brag, yet I shy away from people in person, I seek to glamouize suicide, yet my story is that of only a fight for survival, I hide my arms, my raw cuts, my scars, pulling my sleeves lower when people's heads turn, Yet I demand… Continue reading What is reality
One week ago I became best friends with my demons, One week ago today, this time, this moment., I took the path of deciding to want to end my life, physically and mentally crossing a barrier, One week ago I was on the most serious path of self destruction I have ever walked. I stated… Continue reading
An Open Letter to All
I write this as yet again I am finding myself anon attack by someone who deems themselves to be helping me, when in fact they are doing nothing but hindering me, and blocking me out of my one support network. I write this from the heart and from the truth as I know it, nothing… Continue reading An Open Letter to All
*drunken ramblings #3*
I no longer know whats real, time escapes me, moments leave me, I write this after a panic attack kicked in hard and fast with the trigger hiding deep in a day of chaos. This is ending up all over the place, but I really don't care right now.... I may have issues, it doesn't… Continue reading *drunken ramblings #3*
*drunken ramblings #2*
Do you ever sit there and wonder about you? Who you are, I mean deep down inside, the workings the making of, the whole, I am me, but who I am kind of stuff? 2017, I was a women getting by in life, someone who was just dealing with daily life, unhappy but happy, happy… Continue reading *drunken ramblings #2*
Nothingness
Stood on the edge, Looking down below her, far below her, nothingness, No longer afraid, Led to this point by despair.Tears falling, her mind clear, Darkness that controls her, waiting, just waiting, Pushing away the light, finding comfort in the darknessHer mind enforcing on her self loathing. Encouraging it, embracing it. Stood on the edge,… Continue reading Nothingness
2 attempts 3 WTF’s….
Maybe not the best title, but on reflection is anything right anymore, is anything the right way to do anything? 2nd April, I hit the point of no return, finding myself on a path, My intention to rid the world of my existence,10th April, I wanted to walk, walk until I was numb, walk until… Continue reading 2 attempts 3 WTF’s….
A New Path 2/4/19
Tues 2nd April 2019, After months of me being in a strange place, everything took a downhill spiral to the point of no return, I don't know what caused it. I just know what happened on that day to a point. I did wonder if any point to writing this, then I realize it's all… Continue reading A New Path 2/4/19
peacefullyerratic.com 