I write this post, because people think I am fine, I am fine, I am not OK but I am fine. I do this with the mind that people see me online, they see me working, they see me sharing, I am communicating, I am planning, what they don't see goes a lot deeper, but… Continue reading What you don’t see
Tag: self harm
gift receiving
Why is gift receiving such a uncomfortable experience? As another year has passed, another dot on my existence, Another reminder that I still sit today in this world. Another Christmas gone by, I once again question life, Everything I do, questioned, every moment, Currently, I only want to create a good memory, Yet its so… Continue reading gift receiving
A Glimmer of Hope
Last week, step's were made in the start of getting help, actual support, as I was referred to a service that had never been mentioned to me before, a service I could contact when in times of crisis. I held this information close, trusting I could use it, would use it, I didn't know, I… Continue reading A Glimmer of Hope
The first time
As a child, I loved stories being read to me, Enid Blyton, the secret Severn or, the famous five, These stories, I read as a child, from the age of 5, forward, The magic tree, I adored, a fairy tale, I could escape in, A world I loved. I recall my bedroom as a 6… Continue reading The first time
Self Harm.
Self Harm, a subject that is taboo to many, but one that ripples in the world, many associate it with just teenagers, the old stigma of emos and cries for help. This is not always the case, self harm can effect any one of any age. My scar's are not all new. Many faded are… Continue reading Self Harm.
What is reality
I seek attention, yet I self loathe, I seek to brag, yet I shy away from people in person, I seek to glamouize suicide, yet my story is that of only a fight for survival, I hide my arms, my raw cuts, my scars, pulling my sleeves lower when people's heads turn, Yet I demand… Continue reading What is reality
When you're lost inside, whilst outwardly the smiles are perfected, When you struggle to know which way to turn, When you want to ground, but nothing allows,When the fog thickens, yet your mind is clear, When you just want the rivers to run, When you just want to hide from the world, Distractions, so many… Continue reading
Pain
I guess I should give this post a trigger warning, I have no idea. I am at a loss what is real, what is a concern or what is normal any more. Friday night, anxiety kicked in hard and fast, reason and logic left my mind, No control, no emotion just pure self loathing taking… Continue reading Pain
2 attempts 3 WTF’s….
Maybe not the best title, but on reflection is anything right anymore, is anything the right way to do anything? 2nd April, I hit the point of no return, finding myself on a path, My intention to rid the world of my existence,10th April, I wanted to walk, walk until I was numb, walk until… Continue reading 2 attempts 3 WTF’s….
Detached reality
ok before I start 1) I'm on the rum and 2) I dont want to turn this into a lifestyle blog or a blog about my life in general. Yet this post sort of covers that. Detached reality , this is what I have become and I struggle to understand this feeling. Standing alone yet… Continue reading Detached reality
I am just me
I don’t share my story to seek assiduity, I don’t show my wounds to seek solace. I seek solitude, I know my path, I am soon to walk that path, I chose to share my journey for nothing more than to remind those who have forgotten, I am a person with a heart, a person… Continue reading I am just me
Panic Attack 3/06/19
A saying you hear of often, yet one few understand. I always assumed panic attack and anxiety attacks were the same thing. Unfortunately for me yesterday I found out they are in fact two very different things.A anxiety attack builds over time, its not as intense, still not nice, but not as heavy and can… Continue reading Panic Attack 3/06/19
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