Friendships

I won’t deny I struggle with friends, social interactions are difficult for me, I muddle through but often with detrimental effect, Never learn? Nope, when I am never shown another way, nor am I corrected, why would I learn?
Until one day, back in 2007, my husband introduced me to a friend he held dear.

Meeting in a pub one afternoon, they were down from London for a break. My husband wanting to ask his friend to be his best man, (a situation I pushed, bridezilla moment!)
On meeting this gentlemen, I was introduced to his wife, who I shall call, *Peggy* A few years older then me, but instantly I felt and knew I could trust her, I held a lot of respect for her. I didn’t feel I could offer anything in a friendship, yet she took me under her, and slowly we built a friendship.

On my wedding day she stepped in, and went beyond anything I could have asked for, supporting me, losing herself in my huge dress trying to help me with my shoe’s, to helping me in the bathroom, and hunting false nail glue moments from the ceremony, you get the idea.

I knew then, that time meant nothing, in a short space of life, I knew I had found someone, that no matter what would be there, tell me as it is, and, I loved being able to call her a friend and have her in my life.
When my husband and I discovered we were expecting our first child, Peggy and her husband were one of the first to know. Both were so happy for us, and we couldn’t wait to share this next stage of our life with them.

Fast forward a few weeks, on our way to our first scan, we learnt via a phone call, that Peggy’s husband was on the way to hospital, the tears fell, fear was felt, as realising the severity of the situation, our minds and hearts were torn, An amazing day for us, as their world was falling apart.

As my pregnancy progressed, We kept in touch with Peggy as much as possible, sharing her heart breaking moment’s, with our hope and future.
Around our child’s due date, sadly his life came to an end, whilst ours’s was starting. We wanted to be there every step of the way for Peggy. Yes she was an independent women, her own life, her own path, and I could offer nothing special, but I wanted to be there for her, as she was for me.

I was lucky to be able to keep in touch with her for a long while after, but whilst I always used emails, one certain email provider kept blocking me out, until gradually I lost touch with her.
Due to having 4 young children, stupidly, I didn’t really think it through, but I always questioned it, wondered how she was, tried so many different variations of her email, but never got it right.

Until recently, just 2 weeks ago, knowing she hates social media, I decided to search regardless, her name came up, a dozen of them, I scrolled through everyone of them, until I found the emptiness profile, but linked to a band,
Heart in mouth, I mailed the band page, Please please be her, seeing typing popping up, I held back, until I got a reply,
it was her,
She needed clarification of whether it was actually me, thankfully a couple of photo’s showed it was.
A phone call later, and now emails are back.

Through all the darkness, I am so glad to know that one bit of light, in the form of this friendship pulls through, so much to catch up on, so much to bore her with in regards to my children, (she has cat’s instead) so much to hear on how she is,
I am excited to be back on this path. One positive in a mire of negative

Sorry Peggy your email address is saved on every format, you are not getting rid of me easily this time for sure

Over the last year or so I have lost connections, some meant something others not so much, connections that I know will never be recovered,
This reconnection though, right now means more then anything, and I thank what ever it was that made me search that random evening.