This is a subject, I wish to speak of but I hold back on, Sexual abuse is wrong on every level, male, female, sexual abuse is one that should not exist, but sadly it does.
It brings with it, shame, pain, self loathing, regret, questions, and fear.
Sexual abuse, is a subject that no one feels able to speak about easily. To do so, risks more then others realise.
As a young child aged 6, I did not ask for the path about to land on me, I had no understanding, I no idea of the rights or wrong’s,
As I grew, as my body moved into wards teenage years, I had no comprehension of what was to befall me, whatever landed before me I accepted as part of life, knew no different, Knew no wrong or right.
Sex, a word that is life, a word that should not come into ones life until old enough,
A word that should not fully exist with understanding until young adult hood,
yet a word that hit my world at the age of 6, with no understanding,
A word that I struggle with, a word that scares me today, at the age of 38.
Sexual abuse, what is this, where does it begin, where does it end,
Have I experienced it, or is it my imagination,
Did I ask for it, as a young child, did I reach out and ask for this,
Did I as a young child demand this sort of attetion,
NO adult protected me, NO adult pulled me away from these kind of people,
I was left with them, encouraged to interact, so it was right, the best thing?
I no longer know or understand the truth?
My next few blog posts will reflect this,
I accept the hate, I accept the anger,
I welcome the cold, I welcome the demons,
I welcome the pain and the fear,
I am not afraid,
peacefullyerratic.com 